Thursday, March 1, 2018

Should you read clerkmanifesto?

You have seen the clerkmanifesto drip feeding out onto the Internet. And ever starved for something decent to read on the vast paucity that is the Internet you wondered "Is clerkmanifesto for me?"

How can you know?

Perhaps, you think, you could read a random sampling from my easily available 1,800 extant blog posts and... just... see.


No no no no no! That won't do at all!

There is only one reliable way to find out if clerkmanifesto is for you; take my quiz!

Is Clerkmanifesto Right for You?

1. A public library is

     A. A place where librarians are shamefully coddled.
     B. A good place to get free squirts of hand sanitizer.
     C. A little something for the less fortunate among us.
     D. The place to go to get on a long waiting list for A Gentleman From Moscow, which was published two years ago.
     E. Something I sure would like to read a blog about!

2. Politically I am

     A. To the left.
     B. To the left of the left.
     C. Further left than "B", whose rampant centrism disgusts me.
     D. Considerably to the left of "C", who might as well be fascist as far as I'm concerned.
     E. Aware that there are more than two answers to this question. There are five.

3. Nature is

     A. The step just before real estate.
     B. A trick.
     C. Either showing off or laying low. There is no inbetween.
     D. Am I at the right test? I'm supposed to get $20 to try a new "Wheat Thin".
     E. Something I would like to read more about provided it was written by a responsible Midwestern Blogger who has a special understanding with turkeys.

4. I particularly enjoy reading blog posts written by

     A. Geniuses!
     B. People who think they're geniuses and are none too shy to say so.
     C. People who joke about being geniuses but really think they are but are so ridiculous about it it can get a little hard to tell for sure.
     D. Geniuses who are so multi-layered, absurd, obsessive, and satirical about their genius that they have tricked you into thinking they are not geniuses when they totally are.
     E. People who give you a way out in the end where you don't have to get your hands dirty.

How to Score

1. If you answered any of the questions.

Yes, clerkmanifesto is right for you! We will send you out a chaperone for your first year.

2. If you read all the questions and answers without skimming, thinking carefully and deeply about each one, then re-reading to be sure.

You are too good for this world. We will pray for you every night and will see to it that the Wheat Thins people send you your 20 dollars.

3. You skipped the preamble and quit the test at the first question.

Keep practicing! 

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If you were wondering, yes, you should comment. Not only does it remind me that I must write in intelligible English because someone is actually reading what I write, but it is also a pleasure for me since I am interested in anything you have to say.

I respond to pretty much every comment. It's like a free personalized blog post!

One last detail: If you are commenting on a post more than two weeks old I have to go in and approve it. It's sort of a spam protection device. Also, rarely, a comment will go to spam on its own. Give either of those a day or two and your comment will show up on the blog.