Guns

Due to some initiative of the County we hand out gun locks at my library. This means every once in awhile someone wanders up to me at the front desk and says "I heard maybe that you might have gun locks to give out?"

And I cheerily respond "We do!" (I like to give out good news). "How many would you like?" I ask.

I see their eyes light up and I see the calculation run through their brain that says "I would like 20, but what is the amount I can ask for and not seem like I'm planning on killing a bunch of people?" So I add "You can have three." Because that is how many they can have.

They say "I would like three" because this is America and that's how we roll. Well, not anyone I actually know, but on the Internet it's how I hear we roll.

So I go to the secret box in the Many Managers Office and get three gun locks. I take them to the front desk and I say "I need to see your guns to hand these over."

Just kidding. I don't say that. Though it might be fun. No, what I say is "Please do come back if there's a Zombie invasion. We'll need help."

They say "Ha ha ha." Then they go home and do gun safety and maybe do and maybe don't kill a bunch of people.