Tuesday, August 20, 2013

What makes this the best Library blog of all Library blogs



People sometimes ask me "What makes your blog the best Library blog of them all?"

And I get super humble and shy, but very interested, and I ask "Who says this is the best Library blog of them all?"

And they say, "Well, in English, by a clerk." And they get a bit lost looking and slightly doubtful. Then they start mumbling a long string of qualifiers "Updated daily, amateur, 2013, humor category, phases of the moon, for Geminis..." until I can't hear them anymore.

So I ask again "But who says this is the best Library blog of them all?"

And they get real uncomfortable looking, like maybe they've made a very unpleasant mistake and really wish we could talk about something else now, but I'm looking at them quite a lot so they say, kind of evasively "I don't know, people say, I guess, or I read it somewhere."

And I can tell I'm almost about to get them so upset that they get mad, so I try and ask all casual and calm-like "So, um, do you remember anywhere in particular you saw this best blog thing? Just, if you happen to remember, I mean. No pressure." But I think my hand might be trembling when I ask, like Boromir discussing the one ring.

And they say "I don't know! Look it up yourself if you're so interested!" And they run out of the room nearly in tears.

So I do look it up, using my internet research skills, and what do you know, my blog actually is the best Library blog of them all. It turns out it's not an opinion thing, but actually scientifically based. And after all that research I find I can answer the person's original question "What makes your blog the best Library blog of them all?" except that the person in question now seems to be avoiding me, so I'll just answer the question for you here. It does turn out though that the question requires some slight modification.


What makes my blog the best non professional, English language, Library blog of them all


1. It's a 34-way tie for first.

2. Many Library blogs are written in ancient languages, and so writing in English I face no competition from all the excellent blogs written in, say, Etruscan, or Carian. I have always blamed the American educational system for my not knowing Carian, but perhaps they had my best interests at heart all along.

3. While my skimpy amount of pictures makes my blog very "2002" and causes a lot of reading, it skews well with the powerful Library traditionalists who think illustrations are for small children.


4. I think I donated $20 to the Fund for Widows and Orphans of Blog Evaluators.


5. Elegiacal plus silly equals rainbows!


6. I am a servant of the Secret Fire. I can't say more about that here.


7. The wiring in my blog foyer is now completely up to code. Note to aspiring bloggers: the evaluators are maniacs for code stuff. Ignoring a  loose cobble on your blog's river path or a sick carp in your Japanese Garden can cost you dozens of points! 


8. It totally doesn't matter to me how I rank, whether I was hundredth best or first best was all the same to me, and, as the Tao says:
 
Free from desire, you realize the mystery.
Caught in desire, you see only the manifestations.


Which is why I think I won.


 

2 comments:

  1. Your Taoist wisdom has definitely led you to greatness!

    ReplyDelete

If you were wondering, yes, you should comment. Not only does it remind me that I must write in intelligible English because someone is actually reading what I write, but it is also a pleasure for me since I am interested in anything you have to say.

I respond to pretty much every comment. It's like a free personalized blog post!

One last detail: If you are commenting on a post more than two weeks old I have to go in and approve it. It's sort of a spam protection device. Also, rarely, a comment will go to spam on its own. Give either of those a day or two and your comment will show up on the blog.