Monday, October 29, 2018
Flu week: Fun with coughing
Warning: It's Flu Week. There's always a chance it can get a little, er, graphic ahead.
One might have noticed, in following these reports from Flu Week, that most of the discussion has centered around...
If any of these posts were written in, say, the first three days of Flu Week they might have been more about headaches, deathly illness, teeth chattering chills, or any assortment of truly terrible things. But once THE COUGH entered into it it had a magnetic ability to draw attention to itself. Maybe it was its genial nature, maybe it was the charming way it glints in the evening's glow, or maybe it was the way that every 14 seconds, for six days, day and night, it yelled as loudly as it possibly could.
I guess we'll never know.
But be that as it may we are going to once again discuss THE COUGH.
However, up til now we feel we have been pretty critical of THE COUGH.
What about the good qualities of THE COUGH?
So I made up a good quality to talk about, because I'm a glass is half full kind of guy even if it's actually empty.
Side note: for those of you who pay no attention to the "banner" line of my blog page (which is to say anyone currently reading this, including, usually, me), I am now racing to my blog to change that banner line from:
This small blog, read by just a few dozen people, is all that prevents the Internet from collapsing in on itself and becoming a black hole of knowledge and wisdom, sucking everything in the world down into its absolute darkness of overwhelming, runaway gravity.
I'm a glass is half full kind of guy even if it's actually empty.
End of Side note.
Anyway, onto the positive thing I have found about THE COUGH:
You can find a lot of cool stuff in a cough like this!
I have now, in just over a week, coughed 51,840 times (I counted. It was something to do). And when one coughs 51,840 times one is going to bring up some stuff, some surprising stuff.
Now I'm not talking just about the vast panapoly of the rainbow of phlegms, I'm talking about, for instance, a 1934 "Wheat" penny, which would have been worth something if it had been in mint condition. It wasn't. It was actually pretty hard to recognize for a penny at first. I also brought up an old "Monopoly" "iron" piece, and a tiny bit of pipe-connecting from a bong last seen in 1983.
I'm just saying THE COUGH was no picnic, but it did have a touch of historical value to it.
Also, during one particularly vicious bout of coughing I came up with what I am 95% certain was a piece of my lung!
I hope I'm not going to need that one later.