Monday, October 22, 2018

Why the library is closed

Because we are closed for our most terrifying, bone-chilling event of the year, an October event of pure horror called, brace yourself, "In Service Day", someone at my library put out a big sign in our entry. It's a four foot tall A-Frame that says:

Library Closed

Then they taped a piece of paper to it with the fine print:

Library will be closed on Monday. 

So it goes something like this:

Library Closed

Library will be closed on Monday.

I was pretty alarmed by this sign. It was a Saturday morning and I thought all the people would come to our library, see the sign from a distance, and just... go away.

But of course I was wrong. I forgot about how library patrons actually are. I forgot their shambling relentlessness. Library patrons are like the walking dead. No, wait, they're like motivated zombies. If there's a way in they will find it, a loose board covering a window, a gate left ever so slightly ajar, an inaccurate library closed sign, it doesn't matter. They're coming in.

Nothing will stop them. They want brains.


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