Friday, March 1, 2024

Our beloved villain leader


The County Commissioners have declared a day in honor of our departing County Manager. The County Commissioners loved this guy, but among the regular workers of the county he was known as "Hairdo" and reviled for his smarmy, upbeat, silver-tongued villainy and for his relentless self-aggrandizement posing as "County Aggrandizement"- I kind of bizarre Nationalism that only works on upper County management and County Commissioners. So I suppose the people of the county can decide for themselves whether on his "day" we are celebrating his time here or are reveling in the joyful relief of his departure.

But whatever anyone chooses, the fact remains that we need a new County Manager now!

I was discussing recently with a co-worker how the villain du jour of the movies is AI. AI is the villain in the latest Mission Impossible for instance, and my co-worker said she saw a movie called The Creator where the AI takes the form of an adorable little girl. This seems like the clever sort of thing an AI would do, and it made me think that it's exactly the direction the County should go in choosing our next villainous County Manager.

Imagine an adorable AI genius five-year-old lifelike robot running the County. Who would care if the staff stopped getting even the barest cost of living wage increases? What would matter if our library windows were broken and we had to burn piles of weeded novels to keep our building habitably warm? Our leader would not be some insipid ne'er do well, it would be the brilliant Sunchild, full of all the knowledge of the Universe, adorably reining over our bitter dystopia like a glorious, distant dream.

I'm just saying I think the County Commissioners would probably enjoy that.

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