Saturday, August 4, 2018

How to get off the grid!

Energy independence. Green energy. Living green. In these days of environmental degradation, global warming, and the wholesale destruction of our planet Earth, many of us desperately want to make a difference. We long to live an energy autonomous life, a life friendly to the planet and beholden to none of the multi-national forces that are destroying our home, our only home, this Earth.

But we tend to think it is too hard to make a difference.

It is not too hard to make a difference!

Over the course of just three years I have achieved 100% energy independence and autonomy. While I likely live no differently than you in terms of modern convenience, everything from the electric power I use, to the water I drink, to the sewage I treat, and to even to the fuel I burn is produced autonomously through modern technology and know how, and is in harmony with the world around me. I require nothing from and have no connection to any power company, conglomerate, or energy industry.

You can do it too!

Below I outline the ten steps that have brought me to this total energy autonomy. I am not saying you need to follow each of these steps exactly, but I hope that you will find this template useful in your own path, whether that be towards reducing grid consumption, or, like me, going 100% green.

My Ten Steps to Energy Independence and the Fully Green Lifestyle

1. Buy an Island

It does not have to be huge. Mine is less than 14 square miles of varied topography and there is still room for everything.

2. 17 Windmills

Yes, I have 17 full scale industrial windmills, each one more than a football field high. This is more than enough electricity for me, generally speaking, and I could get by with fewer if it weren't for my desalinization plant (see 3).

3. Desalinization Plant

While there is some fresh water on my Island, it is inconsistent in its availability, and tapping into it could upset the delicate ecology of my home. Meanwhile the sea is full of water. By merely removing the salt I have enough water for farming, teeth brushing, bottling, and running my cattle operation.

4. Go Vegetarian

I know I said I have a cattle operation, but really it's just a hobby herd of 20 head of cattle, plus the dairy herd. I know how much better a vegetarian diet is for both one's body and the planet and so I rarely eat meat, mostly getting by on locally netted seafood, greenhouse vegetables, and cheeses.

5. Offshore Oil Drilling

I am lucky enough to have oil deposits just offshore of my Island and so have sunk two wells and opened a "micro refinery" on the lee side of my Island. This provides me with enough fuel for my boat and my small, 16-seater plane, all this without fracking or playing by British Petroleum's rules.

6. Grow Your Own Tomatoes

I love tomatoes, absolutely adore them, and so I grow them myself, or, when busy, have my staff grow them, along with other fruits and vegetables, in a series of state of the art greenhouses that free me from Industrial Agriculture and the tyranny of seasons.

7. Nuclear Reactor

I have installed one small Nuclear Reactor because contrary to what you may of heard, greenhouses take up a load of energy. So oddly do meat lockers. The good news is that Nuclear Reactors are far safer than anyone thinks, and though I have to send the waste off on specially designed rafts into the Ocean (which is huge), I am working on a greener solution for that and am making great progress.

8. My Own Satellite

It took a few tries for my to get one up there, but a satellite is my way to stay in touch with the world without being beholden to its destructive tendencies. Having an online community of Green Activists like you has inspired me to do all that I have been able to do so far.

9. Recycled, Home-made Toilet Paper

I make my own toilet paper from my own recycled paper, local tree bark, and flax. I promise you it is better than anything you can get in the store! And greener! (Actually it does come out kind of greenish).

10. Turn Out the Lights

Just because I have 17 windmills, an oil refinery, and a nuclear power plant, doesn't mean I don't have to turn out the lights when I leave a room. That may be my biggest lesson for you of all:

Every little bit helps!


  1. Frankly, your secluded island does not sound %100 green. For one, where are you disposing of all the salt from your desalination plant? I will not provide a complete list of your failings because I'm very sensitive and am terrified of being labeled an "Eco-Warrior" or some such.
    During your phat carbon footed vacation to Denmark you really aught to take lots of notes as those people are the greenest on our poor planet. That said, I'm busying myself trying to pull strings there for you. Doubt me if you will, but I'm not only of the house of David, but also of Gorm through Harald Bluetooth. Expect a lavish spead of rolmops & creamy cheeses on arrival. <3

    1. See, this is why we communicate! So we can improve! I have taken all my salt and spread it out over the comments of the Internet, which already tend to be so salty no one will know the difference!

      And we're totally sailing to Denmark! I mean, unless at the last minute we have to get there quickly so the rollmops you've arranged are still fresh, I mean, in their pickled way.

      Thanks for the rollmops and creamy cheeses. You Danes are so thoughtful! As far as I'm concerned the Jelling Dynasty will never end!

  2. Are you by any chance an evil genius or a Bond villain?

    1. I am shocked at your implications! My Great White Shark Tank is purely to help protect the species and as an eco-friendly security system!


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