Gluten free pretzels, the "homage"

 

 

 

Yesterday in this space I teased that I was going to talk about "Scones". 

No, not Scones, "Scones".

Once, long ago here at clerkmanifesto, I kept a running tab of what food was available on the free food table in our library break room. That was a lot of work. So I switched to writing a blog post concerning the free food table every year or two. I remember one about pretzels once. Does that ring a bell? Let me see if I can find it.

Ah, here it is:

http://www.clerkmanifesto.com/2016/01/gluten-free-pretzels.html

Good, huh?

You read it, right?

 

You kind of have to read it for us to continue with this post. Thanks. We'll wait here.

Anyway, my point is that every year or so now I like to check in idiosyncratically with a snapshot of what's happening on the free food table in the break room of the library I work at.

Today is that sort of day.

Inspired by "Gluten Free Pretzels" we will now proceed in this discussion with a call and response format:

Why are you using a call and response format?

Did you read "Gluten Free Pretzels"? It's an homage.

So, what's all this about scones vs. "scones"?

Here's the deal: Someone brought in a Tupperware of what looked like scones. They put it on the free food table. On the cover of the Tupperware they placed a label that read:

Pumpkin Spice "Scones"

I immediately knew eight things.

Is there now going to be an eight item list that's also an homage to "Gluten Free Pretzels"?

Yes. I am increasingly thinking of "Gluten Free Pretzels" as one of my all time great blog posts, at least among those that involve both pretzels and tigers.

Okay, I can take it.

Thanks. Here is my list of eight things I knew instantly about the pumpkin spice "scones":

1. It's hilarious that the scones are in quotes. Are they scones or aren't they?

2. I would like to write a blog post about how the scones are in quotes.

 

3. There is not nearly enough material there for me to write a blog post about pumpkin spice "scones" just because the scones are in quotes, which really isn't all that funny.

4. Not having enough material to work with has never stopped me before. In fact I have lately been noticing that the more material I have the shorter my posts are, and the less material I have, the longer my posts are.

 

5. As confusing as naming these baked goods as "scones" is, suggesting, as it does, that they are not real scones, it is maybe even more subtly confusing that they are pumpkin spice, which strongly suggests that they are some kind of pumpkin scone even though pumpkin spice has no pumpkin in it. Are they pumpkin scones, non pumpkin but pumpkin spice scones, or not a real scone, but sort of in homage to one, and maybe or maybe not pumpkin?

6. I won't be eating a food that doesn't know what it is.

 

7. I'll figure it all out in a blog post.

 

8. I am making far too much of what is fundamentally a grammatical error. 

Was that eight already?

Yes.

Do you have a valuable, informative conclusion?

No.