Sunday, May 31, 2020

The virus

"Language is a virus"

-Laurie Anderson

Doesn't this one look like it's going to be a deep essay? 

Anything could happen, but probably not that.

When I started to wear a mask the first thing that amazed me was how hard it was to breathe in it. After all, there I was wearing a mask to try and stop the spread of a horrible communicable disease that (mostly) kills by making it hard to breathe. What irony. What a terrifying way to die. What an insidious virus. So more and more I put on a mask and

It took my breath away.

I'm not here to talk about the efficaciousness of masks.

Oh, sorry, I said "I'm not here to talk about the efficaciousness of masks."

Wait, come closer. "I'm not here to talk about the efficaciousness of masks!"

Wait, let me slip off this mask so you can hear me. ""I'm not here to talk about the efficaciousness of masks."

Great. And now we both have the virus.

But not that virus, fortunately, so wear your mask!

"What virus then?" You ask.


What, do you think language doesn't spread and kill?

Exactly. All viruses are killers given suitable conditions. Watch:

"One day it's like a miracle, it will disappear."

-The President, two days before the first of more than a hundred thousand American deaths (at press time).

But it's true. One day language will disappear. And he may have been actually referring to language. 

I mean, he doesn't seem to like it.

It's a virus.

And every virus is a killer.

Actually, I know of one, and only one virus in all the great wide world that does not kill.


Alas that it is a reluctant spreader.

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